Think of You
by Dimitri'sfuturegf
Summary: Dimitri leaves Rose to guard Ibrahim Mazur, who Rose does not know is her father...what happens when Janine takes Rose to meet her father after graduation?...all chapters named after one of A Fine Frenzy's songs! RxR, enjoy3
1. Near to You

Hi guys I know I said that id write a story about last sacrifice…but I think im gonna try that after this…so here we are…..*cue dimming lights*

**Think of you**

"He and I had something beautiful but so dysfunctional,

It couldn't last,

I loved him so, but I let him go cause I knew he'd never love me back."

Dimka's point of view

They say when push comes to shove you push right back, but I'm done with pushing, I'm done with fighting. Roza means the world to me, but I feel like everything she's worked for, everything she's earned will just be taken away if we continue our relationship. I know I told her I love her and I do, with all my heart, with everything I am, and in the short 24 years that I have lived I have learned a few things and killed others. I also know that my Roza has only lived eighteen and that I can't ruin the career of someone who is so extraordinary at what she does. She's meant to protect Lissa. I have to let her go.

Rose

I was so in love. I had never been this happy in my whole life. I felt like I was glowing. Dimitri and I had finally given into our feelings for each other , and I couldn't be more thrilled…I had trials in five days and I knew Dimitri was going to train me harder than he had in the whole time he had mentored me. This was the end of my life at st. vladamirs. But I felt like it was the beginning of my life with Dimitri, my life of guarding Lissa. I had woken up early to head to the gym and prove to Dimitri that I could be on time. For once. I put on some mascara, I Nike sports bra, some shorts and headed out my dorm door. I couldn't wait to see my Russian god of a man.

"Hey little dhampir." I turned around to see Adrian walking towards me. "Off to see your Russian lover?" He asked with a sly grin.

"Yeah, and if you'll excuse me have training to get to."

"Oh but you know you want to stay with me, so I can show how a REAL man treats his woman."

"Watch it Ivaskov, Dimitri is more of a man then you'll ever be, and I'll have to pass on your offer, cause I think I just barfed in my mouth a little."

"Alright I'll get to you eventually," he started to walk away. " see you in my dreams."

"I'm sure you will."

I walked the rest of the way and opened the door to the gym eager to see Dimitri and train. I suddenly heard voiced coming from the sparring area of the gym, Dimitri's and someone else's.

"Oh rose I didn't hear you coming in." Dimitri looked sad, that was weird. I started to worry. Did I do something wrong yesterday? Was I not what he expected I couldn't say I was experienced so I had no idea what to do really. Or was it something else?

"Rose?" I was pulled out of my trance by a soft, worried sounding Russian accent.

"Yep sorry what were you saying?"

"Just that I was introducing you to Ibrahim Mazur."

I gave the goateed man a nod and a once over. He was wearing a Prada suit, purple scarf, and gold studs in his ears. His skin was dark like mine and he had nice brown hair.

"Hello Rosemarie," he had a Turkish accent, I think. "It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise, but its Rose, " I gave him a slight smile, he seemed okay.

"Well Belikov, I'll be seeing you later." And with that he walked away, out of the gym.

"What was that all about, who is that?" I asked.

"Rose I have to tell you something."

I looked at him with worry, wondering why he was acting so weird. I was a little scared at his behavior.

"What is it?" I questioned.

"I'm leaving, Abe asked me yesterday to be his guardian so im gonna leave, tomorrow actually"

"Okay I'll come with you." I could feel the tears in my eyes threatening to boil over.

"No Rose just me, I have to go with Abe, I'm leaving, you no longer need a mentor."

The tears spilled over and the whole room began to spin, I was seeing red.

I could barely see his gorgeous face through my tears. "Why?" I asked.

"Because I love you, and I know that makes no sense but I have to let you go I have to let you start your career, guarding Lissa. I am just a distraction. Just someone who would prevent you from becoming who you're meant to be. Good bye Rosemarie, I'll always love you." He walked away and out the door, out of my life.

In that second everything crumbled. Everything had felt so perfect, so right. I cried til there were no more tears left in my eyes. I picked myself up off the floor that held so many memories and vowed to never cry again. To never let my feelings get the best of me. To never be vulnerable again. I hated Dimitri, I hated how he had just made me feel.

I decided I needed someone to talk to. I decided it was finally time to tell Lissa. She would probably be angry and upset. I walked to her dorm, passing only a few people on the way, since there was still a half an hour before class started. I knocked on the door, Christian answered it. On a normal day I would have made some perverted comment about why he was in lissa's room but this was definetly not a normal day.

"Christian I need to talk to lissa, alone." He must have seen the distress in my eyes because he just nodded and walked out the door, backpack in tow.

"rose? Oh my God, are you okay why have you been crying?"

"I'm not okay, I have to tell you something, and you'll probably be very upset that I haven't told you. But please hear me out, and don't think that me keeping this from you was easy."

She nodded her head. Then right there I told her everything, about Dimitri, about the lust spell, about the cabin, about Adrian finding out, about him telling me he was leaving. I could feel guilt and anger coming through the bond. By the time I finished telling her I felt like I was going to cry. I held back the tears and waited for her to say something. She didn't say a word though she just pulled me to her and hugged me. I could feel her tears on my bare shoulder.

She pulled back and looked at me. "I'm so sorry Rose, I am so sorry I didn't see this sooner im so sorry I was so stupid. That he was so stupid to leave you."

"It's okay I'll get over it, eventually. Don't sweat it though. I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I just didn't want anyone to find out about our secret. He would have lost his job. I couldn't have let that happen."

"I love you so much rose and I promise that we will get through this together, I promise I will help you heal this hurt. I'm going to protect you for once."

I was glad that Lissa wasn't mad after not knowing about my relationship with Dimitri. Lissa left to get breakfast. She decided that she was going to skip the day of school to stay with me, which I appreciated.

I wanted to believe her. Believe that everything was going to be okay, but somehow I was skeptical.

DPOV

Leaving was going to be the hardest thing I would ever have to do. Harder than killing undead vampires or watching my best friend die. Rose was all I had but I knew what I was doing was for the best. For her at least. I packed my things and tried to fall back asleep not wanting to think anymore about what I was going to do tomorrow.

**Hi guys I hope you enjoyed this first chapter…I find this story much easier to write than the other…but rest assured that one will be updated to…I promise….i would love some reviews…..thankyou!**

**Ps…there obviously was no attack and the cabin happens a week before grad…everything with Spokane happened though!**

**Til nxt time3**

**Tristan Nicole**


	2. Almost Lover

Im so stupid…why do I always forget the disclaimer…idk…but you guys know that I don't own va…though I wish I did sooo yeah…I don't own vampire academy,,,,,richelle mead does..unfortuantely….

Okay on to the story…chapter two….

Almost Lover

"Your fingertips across my skin, palm trees swaying in the wind, images…

You sang me Spanish lullabies, the sweetest sadness in your eyes, clever trick

I never want to see you unhappy; I thought you'd want the same for me"

Almost lover, A Fine Frenzy

RPOV

I eventually fell asleep, Lissa next to me. I felt like I was falling apart on the inside, like I had been ripped in half, like I had been tortured. It was awful, but I knew that I had to suck it up because I still had lissa to protect and guard. _They come first. _The saying that had been driven into me practically since I was born popped into my head. I had to stay strong for Lissa, and for my self. I awoke to Lissa shaking my shoulders telling me she was meeting Christian in half an hour, asking if I was going to be okay by myself for a while.

I told her I'd be fine and went to my dorm to get some more sleep. I found a note sticking out from under my door, I opened it.

_Roza,_

_I just wanted to let you know how much I love you, how I am leaving __**FOR**__ you. I loved every moment that we were together, our first kiss, the lust spell, when I made love to you. You are extraordinary, and I know that you will be the best guardian anyone's seen in a very long time. Please remember that I will always love you, and I'll always be thinking of you._

_With all my love, Comrade._

Though I said I would never cry again, right then, I just couldn't hold it in. I threw the note in a corner and cried my self to sleep.

LPOV

"I'm so worried about her Chris, I really don't know if she's going to be okay or not." I looked at Christian through, my tear filled lashes.

"I don't know, I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that her and guardian Belikov were together, like together together. It's insane, I want to kill him, burn him, something. I can't believe he's leaving. I can't believe that he has hurt Rose like this, she's been through enough already."

"I don't know why he did it, Chris …..I have no idea,,,,but maybe he has a good reason…., maybe we should confront him and ask him, try to convince him that staying is what's actually best for Rose. Not leaving."

Christian nodded and stood up and pulled me with him as we set off to find Dimitri amongst the many buildings of the campus.

DPOV

I stepped into the taxi that was waiting to take me to the airport, to Washington, where Abe Mazur was staying, where I would be staying, living really. Abe was paying me well, three times what a normal guardian would get paid, but I guess Abe Mazur wasn't a normal man. He seemed to have a special reason for choosing me, a reason he wouldn't disclose. He could have any guardian he wanted, he was definitely was rich enough.

ALPOV (alberta)

I was sorting through files when my office door slung open to reveal a very desperate looking Lissa and Christian.

"Lissa, Christian what are you two doing here?"

Lissa spoke first, "Where's guardian Belikov, guardian Petrov? We've been looking for him everywhere and we can't find him."

I looked at her with confusion, "Lissa, Dimitri left just a few hours ago, why are you looking for him?"

"Ummm," Lissa looked down at the floor.

"We'll be leaving now," Christian chirped half-heartedly, and with that they both hurried out of my office.

I couldn't help but think that their question had something to do with Rose, I had a feeling he left because of her. I always felt like there was something going on between them that I couldn't put my finger on. I always thought it was just their close student mentor relationship. Hmm.

CPOV

I couldn't believe what was happening, Dimitri had already left. My rage increased and I could feel heat at my finger tips, he was such an awful person. I wished at that moment that I could chase him down and convince him to come back.

"Chris, what are we going to do now?" Lissa's voice broke me out of my trance.

"Hell if I know, we could chase him down, get to the airport and try to stop him, we could compel someone into letting us take a car." Lissa looked doubtful at my suggestions and rolled her green eyes.

"Usually I'm all for compelling, but I think we need to stay here to comfort Rose, to help her right now. Besides Guardian Belikov is probably already half way to wherever he is going by this time.

"Yeah you're probably right, let's go find Rose."

JPOV (Janine)

I pulled my phone from the blackberry case attached to the belt of my guardian attire and looked at the screen. I had finally decided it was time to tell Rose. I didn't know how she'd take the news, since I hadn't seen her in a little over a month.

With one more deep breath I dialed the number that was ingrained in my mind forever.

"Mazur" His voice took my breath away for a few moments, but I recovered quickly.

"It's Janine, and I think it's time."

**So did you like it? I hope so….i think im going to skip to a couple weeks later in the next chapter..just a heads up…im sorry I didn't update sooner, schools been hectic and lately the only time I get to write is at my brothers basketball games,,,it helps me focus…weird I know….okaey dokey don't for get to review!**

**Til next time, Tristan Nicole3**


	3. Elements

I don't own vampire academy,,,,richelle mead does

Think of you chapter three

"I died the day you disappeared, so why would you be welcome here,

No you can't come in, no you can't come in."

Element A Fine Frenzy

* * *

Until you love someone you don't know that a heart can actually break in two. I've loved and that's exactly what happened to my heart .

Since dimitri left I feel like I've acted more and more like an emotionless slug , and on top of the heartbreak my mother just informed me that'd I'd be meeting my father soon. She says that we will go to his house in Washington. She won't tell me his name, but at this point I don't even care to meet him. I've become an adult with out him and lived eighteen years with out him. I didn't really need to meet him.

DPOV

Abe told me his daughter was going to be visiting sometime in the next few weeks…I don't know why he told me. It wasn't really any of my business.

RPOV

A week later

As my mother and I boarded the plane that would take us to my father's house I wondered if I would even like him.

The plane ride to Washington was a blur. I walked off the plane, got my luggage and walked with my mother to where my father's driver was picking us up. He found us, told us his name was Leo and ushered us into the car. We drove past busy streets and not so busy sidewalks to come up to a giant mansion that had to be my father's house. My mom had said something about him having a lot of money; yeah a lot was an understatement.

"Mr. Mazur requested that I drop you here I'll take your luggage around back." he smiled and opened the car door for my mother and I. Mazur? That name sounded familiar but I didn't know why. My mother rang the doorbell.

"I'll get the door for you Abe." I heard a man who's lightly accented voiced seemed very familiar, but I didn't know why. Maybe I was imagining things these days. The door was opened and the last thing I remember before blacking out was seeing Dimitri's face and falling into my mother's arms.

Am I dead, have I died, was this heaven, probably not, I'd killed one to many to be anywhere but hell. I opened my eyes to meet a pair of beautiful chocolate brown ones.

"Roza are you okay?" a smooth Russian voice asked me.

"Rosemarie are you alright this certainly not what I wanted out of our first meeting." This must have come from my father.

I sat up on what I guessed was some antique couch, and I looked into the face of a man I'd definitely seen before, Ibrahim Mazur. I looked around to see my mom and of course the person id thought I'd never seen again Dimitri.

I spoke up first "What the hell are you doing here? To ruin my already fucked up life?" the words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. My parents were looking at me like I was crazy.

"Rose," My mother warned me.

I ran out of the house before anyone could stop me. I could hear Dimitri's footsteps running after me.

"Roza wait, let me explain…" he looked at me with pleading eyes.

"Really explain. Explain what? Why you left me when I thought you loved me? When you told me you loved me, when we made love? When you said we'd always protect each other no matter what? Explain why you lied to me after I gave myself and everything to you, everything changed when I saw you, but sure go ahead and explain your self." I started to walk away, but he grabbed my hand. I snatched my arm back and crossed my arms over my chest.

"I do love you-"

"You don't love me, you just wanted to get laid, well I've realized that all men are the same. You, my father, as long as your dick is happy then it doesn't matter whose heart you break in the process, including your student's." I continued," I was broken when you left, I still am…"

I started to walk away, leaving Dimitri behind me when I saw mom and Abe watching us from the second story balcony. Oh shit, we were doomed, she was going to kill Dimitri and then torture me. Double shit. I hated him for leaving me but I didn't want him to die.

"Rosemarie Hathaway!" My mother screamed from the balcony she was watching from. "Guardian Belikov I need to speak with both of you."

I shot Dimitri a look and walked back inside where I'm sure my mother was waiting with a rusty spoon to castrate Dimitri.

We sat down on the couch across from mom and my father.

DPOV

Mother fucker, why does shit like this always happen to me?

Janine looked at me, "so from what I gathered from that little episode that I watched outside you and rose have been in a relationship. Is this true?" she glared at me and I'm sure I looked like I wanted to run away at any moment.

I looked at her with wide eyes. I was afraid if I ever answered she would cut off my dreams of ever having kids. No pun intended.

"Umm…" I didn't know what to say.

"It's a simple question with a simple answer. Yes or no?" this came from Abe.

I just looked at the ground and weighed my options.

"Oh for Christ sakes, yes we were in a relationship…were…but I swear Abe if you hurt him I will tear you limb from limb, I didn't kill all those strigoi out of luck." Rose was angry now yelling at Abe like there was no tomorrow.

"Did you sleep together?" this question came from Janine.

Rose spoke again.

RPOV

"Yeah we had sex…but there is nothing you can do about it…and you two can't say anything." I pointed at my newly acquainted father," You have never been here for me so you have no right to tell me what to do. And you, you've never been there for me, you just dropped me off at the academy and left me there, never even looked back. No second thoughts."

My mom and Abe were speechless. They just stared at me with their mouths wide open in shock. I could only imagine what was going through their minds; their daughter had an affair with her teacher slash mentor. Oh gosh we were doomed!

I looked over at Dimitri who was extremely red and extremely embarrassed. I bet he was…

"Well," my mother finally spoke up, "I don't know how to react to all of this, this is insane."

I stood up. "Well while you contemplate I'm going to go take a walk." I walked out of the giant house and onto the side walk.

"Roza wait up." Roza, Roza, Roza. Why did he have to keep reopening the wound? Why do I feel this way every time I look at him? It's awful.

"What do you want Dimitri?"

"I want to explain why I left you, I felt like if we continued in the relationship then we would both be distracted. I would guard you and not Lissa, you have soo much potential. I decided if I really loved you id let you go cause that's what was for the best. I'd just be a distraction."

"A distraction? It's more of a distraction now that your gone, you're all I think about. I've cried myself to sleep because of you…" I started to walk away for what felt like the million time today.

"Roza-"

"No dimitri, I'm done. Don't Roza me because you've broken my heart way beyond repair."

I walked along the road leaving Dimitri in the dust. At this point I didn't care if he thought that he could get me back. I decided to call Adrian to get my mind off Dimitri and to vent a little. I sat down on the curb and pulled out my Samsung Flight. I dialed the number.

"Hello?"

"Hey it's me," I could already feel myself start to crack a little in the inside.

"Little Dhampir! Are you okay? You sound like you've been crying, where are you?"

"Washington, remember, to meet my dad…"

"Oh yeah I remember now, so how is it going?"

"Well not so good, obviously, we got to the door and rang the doorbell and-and I heard a voice that sounded familiar and they opened the door and-"

Adrian cut me off," Dimitri was there." Adrian finished my sentence with out hesitation.

"Yeah, how did you know?" I had tears streaming down my face by now and snot coming out of my nose.

"Because I know you and I know there are only two people in the world that could make you this up set, Lissa or Dimitri. But since I saw lissa five minutes ago when we were practicing spirit I figured it wasn't Lissa soo…" he trailed off.

"You knew it had to be Dimitri."

"Exactly, so tell me what happened." He actually sounded like he cared.

"Well Abe and my mom found out about me and Dimitri." I sighed; glad I could tell someone about all the craziness. I mean I knew I could call lissa but she would just worry a lot.

"Wait Ibrahim Mazur is your father? No wonder your so badass." I could practically hear him smirking through the phone.

"Yeah I guess so; I haven't really talked to him yet. It's just been a bunch of yelling at me and Dimitri. It's exhausting."

"Do you want me to come get you?" Adrian asked. This Adrian scared me a little, he actually seemed like a protective older brother and not the guy who always wants to get in my pants all the time."

"No that's okay I'll fight through it. I mean I have to face the demons eventually, I just didn't want to deal with them all at once you know…."

"Yeah I know…give em Hell Little Dhampir, I'll call you later." He hung up the phone, and after sitting on the concrete curb for what seemed like hours I picked myself up off the ground and headed back towards the house, to the hell I didn't want to face.

My mother met me at the door.

"Rose, what in the world were you thinking?"

I sat down on the steps. "I wasn't thinking, I wasn't thinking of the consequences. I was only thinking about how my heart felt when we were close together, how well he treated me, his brown eyes, how I had never wanted something as much as I wanted him in my whole life. It wasn't a crush mom and he left and I'm completely broken inside because he's gone."

I just let it all out and to my surprise my mother sat down and gingerly put and arm around me. Wow. I'm kind of thinking that I've had too many surprises in one day.

"Rose I know I haven't been around at all, but I do know what it feels like to be in love. I also know what it feels like to be a teenager and what it feels like to be scared and broken. Believe it or not,"

"Really?" I looked at my mother with doubt. She always seemed so heartless and cold.

"Really, I'm serious. Let's go back inside, your fathers waiting for us."

We walked back into the house to see Abe and Dimitri yelling at each other. Great, let the fun begin.

**Oooooh cliffy….i loved writing this chapter….so I have a little pop quiz for you….if you can tell me in your review what movie I got the quote "give em hell" from then I'll send you a sneak peek of the next chapter….lets get ten reviews for this chapter!**

**Til next time Tristan nicole**


	4. Author notesorry

Hi guys im sooo sorry I have not updated, my laptop got a bunch of viruses so I haven't been able to update at all….i promise I will update as soon as I can,,,I would love lots of ideas from you guys cause not only was Adrian (my laptop) very sick…ive also been stumped on ideas for the story

Thanks a bunch, Tristan Nicole


	5. What I Wouldnt Do If I Had You

**So hey guys I was so excited to get started with my writing again…cause of all of your wonderful reviews…..! thank you guys soooo much so on with chapter four!**

**What I Wouldn't do**

**If we were children I would make you a mud pie, warm and brown beneath the sun. **

**Never learned to climb a tree but I would try, just to show you what I'd done.**

**Oh what I wouldn't do if I had you babe, if I had you.**

**-a fine frenzy**

**I don't own va…**

Rpov

When I saw Dimitri and Abe yelling at each other all I could think was oh no. I thought that everything would be okay until I walked in the house.

"I should fire you, you know that right?" Abe yelled at Dimitri.

"Okay do it, I'll leave right now if you'd like. I won't come between you and your family." Dimitri looked ashamed as he said this.

"Wait Abe, don't be mad at Dimitri, be mad at me, it's my fault all of this happened."

"Rose I have every right to fire him."

"He didn't do anything wrong!"

"Yes he did he took advantage of a minor, which is illegal."

_Rose! I cant believe you called Adrian before me!_

I looked at Abe," I've got to take care of something with lissa, work this out or I'm leaving."

I grabbed my phone and called lissa like she had asked me too.

She picked up on the first ring," Rose Hathaway I can't believe that you called Adrian Ivashkov before you called me, because last time I checked you hated him."

"I knew that you would worry like crazy, I called Adrian to vent and because I needed I male to talk to,,,give me some insight."

"You could have called Christian,"

"Look lissa I don't want to fight with you right now, it's pointless. I'll call and explain everything to you later but right now I'm in the middle of a crisis. I love you Liss, but I got to go."

"Okay you better call me, and I love you too, never forget."

"Okay Liss bye."

"Bye."

I walked back in to see Abe and Janine sitting on the couch awfully close together. This day was getting stranger and stranger by the second. I walked through the living room but they seemed too distracted to notice. I looked at them, "Where's Dimitri?"

They still weren't listening to me.

"Hello, earth to the parents."

They finally looked up after a few seconds. They looked at me questioningly.

"Dimitri? Where is he?"

"I don't know, he went to pack."

I ran up the stairs I saw and looked into every door until I found dimitri. He was facing away from me looking into what I guessed was a closet.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I just got called on a mission I'll be back in a few days."

"So my father didn't fire you?"

"No I'm his best guardian, I think he was just angry."

"Oh okay, well good luck." I turned on my heel and walked out of his room.

"Oh and Roza…"

"Yeah" I turned around just as his lips crashed down on mine. It ended as quickly as it begun.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Goodbye." He pressed one more kiss to my lips, soft as a feather.

"Bye." I walked away feeling conflicted. Should I take him back after what he did to me or should I stand strong and turn away? I couldn't decide. Just then "Girls just wanna have fun" started to play.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket. "Hey liss I just told you I would call you back later."

" I can't wait till later, start explaining."

"Well I'm sure Adrian already told you everything. He's here and I don't know what to do. I love him so much but I don't know if it's too late. And just a few seconds ago he kissed me. I didn't kiss him back intentionally but my body just responds to him, I can't help it at all. I don't want to love him, he hurt me so badly but—"

I was cut off my Lissa's loud and obnoxious squeal.

"Omg…he kissed you, where is he now? Why didn't you tell him you love him? Rose?"

"Lissa calm down, he just left to go on some mission, he will be back in a couple days. And Liss he left me, he broke my heart in two, he can't just get me back because it's so convenient now."

"Okay, I guess I have to let you make your own decision about what to do. Go get some rest you're going to need it."

She hung up the phone and left me all alone to ponder away at my thoughts.

Even though it was the middle of the day I decided I needed a nap to calm my nerves, I was too fed up with my parents to talk to them now anyways.

Dimitris POV

Kissing Roza again was like coming home. I couldn't wait to get home to her to show her just how sorry I was for leaving. I felt like baing called on a mission was a good thing, give me a chance and her a chance to think for a while. We were going to hunt strigoi at a location about thirty minutes outside of the estate. I figured it would be a quick mission I hoped I was right.

The next day

Rose POV

The next day was uneventful watching my parents pretend they didn't didn't love each other anymore, and thinking about dimitri and our crazy relationship.

THE DAY AFTER THAT

I woke up the next day to my mother shaking me telling me to get up out of the bed, I knew instantly that something was wrong. All I could think of was Lissa and hoping that she was okay.

"Rose, Dimitris in the hospital."

"What why?"

"Rose he is in a coma, he was attacked by a strigoi yesterday, he's in critical condition at the nearest moroi hospital."

"Where?" I could feel the tears threatening to spill over. I couldn't believe this was happening. It was logical yes, but I just never thought another person I loved would die.

"The hospital is about thirty minutes away, I'll take you there if you give me five minutes."

"Okay, ill get dressed."

I sat up quickly and put on the first thing I saw, and brushed my hair and put it up in a sloppy ponytail. It was like I couldn't get down the stairs fast enough.

"Mom I'm ready, can we go now?"

She met me at the front door with the car keys.

"Yeah, let's go."

The ride to the hospital was about thirty minutes away, but in the time of crisis it felt like we would never get there. My head was spinning and though i didn't really believe in God, I hoped someone would keep him safe. He couldn't die, it didn't make sense that when someone gives their life to protect people that they would get hurt after all they had done for others.

"Rose, are you okay we are here." My mother pulled my out of my trance that I was in.

"Oh yeah I'm okay sorry." I unbuckled my seat belt and stepped out of the car. I could feel the tears threatening to flow over. I just stood there for a while just looking at the building, my legs couldn't move. I felt my mother take my hand and pull me towards the entrance of the hospital.

We walked to the front desk to find out what room he was in.

"Room 145." The pretty nurse said with a sympathetic smile.

"Thank you." I replied and followed my mom to the room. I took a deep breath before I opened the door.

Dimitri was hooked up to a bunch of cords and monitors. The tears I kept inside for almost an hour spilled over and down my cheeks.

"I'll wait outside in the lobby okay?"

I didn't answer her I just grabbed a chair and sat beside Dimitri's bed. I heard the door click shut.

His face was scratched and bruised and he had a black swollen eye. His arm was in a cast and and his leg was badly bruised.

I sat there for what seemed like forever, just holding his hand and telling him not to leave me. It must have been a long while because a nurse came in twice to check his vitals.

"I really do love you you know, because as soon as mom told me about what happened to you I forgave you, cause I realized that I can't lose you." He might not be able to hear me, they always say coma patients can hear you, but I had to pour my heart out to him. He couldn't leave me, I needed him here with me, to make love to me and tell me he loves me. That's what I wanted out of our future. Lo-Holy Shit!

I looked down at my hand that had just been squeezed.

"Roza?" I looked at Dimitri who had his non swollen eye open. He was coughing but he was definetly awake. Just when I thought that all my tears were gone more flowed down my face, but these were happy tears.

"Yeah I'm here." I stood up and brushed the hair out of his face that was somehow still gorgeous, to me at least.

"Where am i?" he looked a little out of it.

"You are in the hospital. You were in a coma for almost twenty-four hours. I assume something happened with the strigoi. Do you not remember?"

"The last thing I remember was being hit in the head and blacking out. Then…nothing."

"I was so worried about you, we need to call a nurse to come and check on you." I got up to press the button on the bed and kissed Dimitri's forehead

A few minutes later a nurse came in she had a nice smile and a plump body. "You're awake, good, we were starting to worry about you." She unplugged some of the machines and wrote down his heart beat. " you'll probably be fine, wed just like you to stay for another day or so, just to make sure you are alright before we discharge you okay?"

"Yeah okay."

The nurse smiled at him, "You'll be in that cast for at least three weeks, you sprained your wrist pretty badly, so you'll be taking it easy for a while." She winked at me. Oh gosh. Oh no. Wow.

My face turned red and I looked away. But I secretly wished that that would happen again someday soon. Well in a week or two that is.

The nurse walked out and shut the door behind her.

"Roza are you okay?"

I looked at Dimitri, who had a worried look on his face. I didn't say anything I just smiled and kissed his swollen lips.

"I love you." He said.

"I know, but we have a lot of talking to do, but regardless I do love you back."

"Will you stay with me? I don't want you to leave me."

"Yeah let me just call my mom."

I grabbed my phone and dialed her number. She answered on the first ring.

"Rose? Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine you should come down here, so I can say bye to you, I'm going to stay with Dimitri."

"Um okay I'll be there in a second."

Mom walked in a few moments later. She looked surprised.

"Dimitri? How long have you been up?"

"Oh just a few minutes." He said drinking a glass of water.

"I'm glad you're okay." She said with a smile.

"I'll walk you out" My mother followed me out the door.

"Rose?" she asked in a disapproving tone.

"What?"

"I know I haven't been around a lot, but I really don't want to see you get hurt again."

"I'll be fine mom." I gave her a hug and then walked back into the room to see Dimitri half asleep.

"Roza?"

"Yes?"

"Will you come lay down with me?" he looked hopeful

"Yeah of course" was he crazy of course I would lay down.

I climbed in the uncomfortable hospital bed and laid beside dimitri who winced a little.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Yeah I'm fine just a little sore that's all." He gave me a very sleepy smile. "Oh and I saw the wink the nurse gave you."

I smacked his non sprained arm. "Three weeks now go to sleep." I slept with a smile on my face.

**Okay so I hope you guys are glad that I am updating cause I know I am! So this chapter is all rushed and stuff but I hope you like it….one favor im going to need is that id like there to be a lemon in the next chapter but I don't have a lot of lemon experience so I need your help…if someone will inbox me a message ill tell you what needs to be in it….you wouldn't have to do it right away….just with in the next two weeks…..it would help a lot! Thank you so much and id love it if you could give me some awesome suggestions!**

**Til next time, Tristan Nicole**


	6. The World Without

So guess what guys! Another chapter! Id like to give a giant shout out and thank you to Snowgoose who wrote the lemon for this chapter she is amazing and you should read her stories if you haven't already

Richelle mead owns va/not me…I think that's quite obvious…

The World Without

"The circles darken around our eyes,

But when our bodies combine they shine like diamonds"

A fine frenzy

"Rose!" I turned my head to see lissa calling my name.

"Hey!" Lissa was coming to do my hair and makeup for graduation and I was so excited but a little sad that Dimitri and my dad weren't going to be there for my graduation.

"Why aren't you in your dorm room? I was coming to your room to do your hair and makeup, what are you doing?"

"I was getting doughnuts, I was hungry." We got to my dorm room and went inside to start working on our hair and makeup.

Two hours later we were walking out the door to get to the field where the students were lining up for graduation. I saw my mom in the audience and I waved to her. We found our respected seats and sat down. Students were called to get their diplomas and dhampirs were told their charges. I tuned most of it out since there was so much talking going on.

"I'd like to call up a very special student up to the stage, someone who has fought some extraordinary battles this year, someone who has lost and gained so much, someone who in my opinion will be one of the best guardians we will ever see. Rosemarie Hathaway." I looked up to see Alberta calling me up to the stage. "Come on up Rose!"

I walked up to the stage. And looked at Alberta.

"Rose would you like to say a few words?"

I looked at her with panic and took the microphone from her. "Um I haven't really prepared anything for this but here it goes."

I took a deep breath and tried to look confident in front of everyone who was watching intently.

"First let me congratulate all of you for making it this far, yeah it's surprising but we did it. If my last few years at this school have taught me anything it's to take nothing for granted, cherish the people you love and, work your ass off," I got a few laughs for that one. "I hope you guys leave the iron gates and make something of what you're given and inspire others whenever you can. Congrats St. Vlads. You did it!" I let out the breath I felt like I'd been holding in and smiled at the audience. I took my cap off and flung it in the air, everyone else did the same. Wow this was a long journey.

I just got lost in the moment, everything blurred around me and I saw my future in front of me, with Lissa and Dimitri, it was perfect.

"Rose, Rose!" I was pulled out of my trance by lissa calling my name. "Rose we need to go get changed for our graduation party."

"Okays lets go." She pulled me down the stairs of the stage and towards her dorm room.

We went back to her dorm where our party dresses were waiting and got ready, I was wearing a skin tight retro black and red mini dress with sky high black heels and a red necklace that looked like a heart shaped lollipop. Lissa was wearing a brown pattern dress with the most expensive patented leather nude heels she could find. It was funny because they added about four inches to her 5'9 frame…she was going to be even taller than Christian now. I redid my makeup with nothing but ultra long pitch black eye-lashes and bright red lipstick. Lissa had dark brown colors on her eyes and nude lipstick that made her look a few years older than she was. She decided to pull my hair half up and curl it and tease it a lot, it looked so sexy. At this point I looked like the Rose that everyone knew, but just a little sexier, I couldn't help but wish dimitri was here to see me. Lissa straightened her hair to perfection.

"Okay," she said," Let's go so we aren't late, I have a surprise for you."

I looked at her with a confused look and shrugged. "Okay lets go we don't want to be late."

We walked towards the gym where apparently we were having the party.

"Are you ready?" lissa asked me.

"Ready for what?" Lissa opened the door of the gym. She had turned the gym into an uber chic club. The lights were low and there were crazy streamers and disco balls hanging from the ceiling. There were retro couches and giant floor lamps all over the gym. "Liss, this is amazing, how did you do this?"

She smiled, "It was not me it was your father."

"My dad, what do you mean?" I looked around.

"Hi kizim," I turned around. My father was standing there in all of his pimp attire glory.

"Abe, What are you doing here?"

"You think I would miss your graduation?"

"But I didn't see you out there…"

"Well I wouldn't want you to see me, then it wouldn't be quite as big of a surprise now would it, and I have something else for you, but it was a little too big to put in a box."

All of a sudden I smelled the after shave that I knew so well. "You look really beautiful tonight."

I turned around to meet Dimitri's gorgeous face. I gasped. "What are you doing here?" I threw my arms around his neck. He squeezed me tight and said, "You didn't think I'd miss my own students graduation did you?"

I looked down to see his cast was gone. "Where'd—what-?"

_Your welcome_. Lissa's voice rang in my head.

I looked over to where lissa was dancing and mouthed thank you.

_Oh just you wait, it won't be the last time you say thank you to me tonight._

I turned back to Dimitri and stood on my tiptoes and whispered, "Let's see how many people we can say hi and be polite to before we can blow this Popsicle stand."

He shivered slightly and chuckled, "Sounds like a plan."

We weaved our way through the crowd and tried not to look to impatient. I think the only one that noticed was lissa and she just laughed under her breath.

_Geese Rose you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. Just go ill cover for you. _She smiled and waved me off.

I grabbed Dimitri's hand and we started walking towards my dorm. It took us a while cause we kept ducking behind the bushes to make out.

We finally got to the dhampir dorms. We got a few looks form some of the students and staff but I really could care less. We passed Stan on the staircase. His eyes narrowed when he saw our hands entwined. Then he looked at Dimitri's face and smirked.

"That's a nice shade of lipstick you have on Guardian Belikov. Did you borrow it from young Guardian Hathaway?" I looked at Dimitri's face in the light of the hallway and burst out laughing. His lips were smeared New Temptation Mac sheer supreme lipstick. Then Stan turned to me.

"Guardian Hathaway I think you need lessons in makeup application after all I don't think Lipstick is supposed to be worn on your neck." Dimitri's eyes wondered to my face and neck and now it was his turn to laugh.

"Seriously, Rose, Dimitri, I just want to tell you congratulations. Be strong and don't let the world tear you apart." With that he walked away leaving us to continue on. I wondered how he found out about us being together and why he actually gave a shit. This night was just full of surprises.

Tonight was to be the last night that I stay here. Tomorrow Lissa and I were supposed to be moving to court. I didn't know what would happen between Dimitri and I but for now I set that aside. I opened the room and gasped. The boxes I packed were removed and on the tops of the dresser nightstand and desk there were candles. The bed was made with a silk bed set that Lissa recently bought on our last shopping trip.

**Lemon kinda starts here…scroll down if you don't want to read it…..**

Dimitri lifted me gently in his arms and carried me into the room and over to the bathroom. He set me down and turned on the water. He kissed me softly on the lips as he reached around to unzip my dress. I meanwhile worked on the buttons of his dress shirt. His arms left me while he shrugged the shirt and jacket off at the same time.

I reached up and took the pins that held my ultra-teased hair up while Dimitri watched and unbuckled his pants. Together we stepped out of our shoes and underwear. He held my hand as I stepped into the shower and under the stream of almost hot water. I hadn't realized how tense I had been about today till the hot water began to work out the knots. Dimitri washed me down first then washed my hair. The smile never left his lips as his fingers massaged my long tresses. There was no talking between us except from the communication of our eyes and our bodies.

While my hair was sitting with conditioner I washed Dimitri, I was mindful to remove any traces of my lipstick form his mouth and face. It is true that we have made love once before but I was still new at this and I was glad that we were going slow and taking time to become familiar with each other's bodies. I blushed every time our bodies brushed against each other.

We rinsed off and Dimitri carefully patted my skin dry with a soft towel then wrapped it in my hair. I took the other towel and dried him off. From the hook on my bathroom door he produced two robes one he held out for me and one he put on himself. Taking my brush from the bathroom he led me to my desk chair and proceeded to brush the tangles from my hair. I have always wanted to have him brush it. I closed my eyes and savored the feeling of his hands in my hair. When he was done with my hair I made him sit for me. I love his silky hair and sitting here brushing it was a piece of heaven for me.

He turned and met my eyes. There was so much love and longing and passion in his gaze. I don't remember it happening but somehow we both ended up standing together in and embrace. We held each other for a while content to be in each other's arms. I was first to pull back and kiss him softly on the lips. His lips responded with mine then he deepened the kiss by brushing his tongue along the seam of my closed lips. I opened to him eagerly. Passion soon built and he untied my robe to explore my flesh with his hands. I let my robe fall and pulled his off too. Soon his body was pressed against mine and I wanted more.

He pulled back the covers of the bed and slid in beckoning me to follow. I slid in to the silky bed but the softness of the sheets was nothing compared to the glory of his skin on mine. His hands, soft and warm though calloused; left trails of fire within me as he explored my body. My hands wandered around trying to memorize every inch of him. He rolled so that he hovered over me trailing kisses from my face to my neck and back. Instinctually I opened my legs and wrapped them around his. I could feel his manhood brushing against my entrance.

"Dimitri, I need you."

"Yes my Roza."

He pressed into me slowly giving me a moment to adjust to the feeling yet he never stopped kissing me. When I deepened the kiss he began to move within me. My own body began to rock in rhythm with his. I began to gasp and vocalize softly as my inner coil began to tighten. Dimitri began to grunt softly. My back arched bringing me closer to him and changing the way his manhood felt inside me. I could take no more my inner coil sprung and my body began to tremble and breathed his name. He pushed in one final time harder and deeper than ever. He attacked my neck with a passion as he growled against my skin. I could feel him begin to tremble with me.

Dimitri stayed on top of me kissing my lips and whispering I love you in Russian, while we waited for our bodies to calm. When he did move to the side he held me from behind letting me use his arm as my pillow. I have never felt so safe and loved in my life. As I fell asleep in my Comrade's arms I thought that if I could sleep in his arms every night for the rest of my life I would die happy.

**You can open your eyes now **

I woke up the next morning to loud banging on the door. I removed myself from Dimitri's sleeping form and slipped on his dress shirt and a pair of underwear and went to answer the door.

When I opened the door my dad was standing there with a pissed look on his face.

"Rosemarie." He gave me a once over and shook his head.

"Dad I don't need your commentary this early in the morning, what the hell are you even doing here this morning?"

"I came to make sure you were okay since you two disappeared yesterday." Well that was a lie.

"That's bullshit Abe, you just came to see if we had sex, now you know, so goodbye." I shut the door in his face and walked back to the bed and slid in, shedding the shirt on the way. Dimitri rolled over and faced me.

"Good morning Roza." He pulled me to him and kissed my forehead and ran his hands along my body. "Why are you wearing underwear?"

"Well my lovely father stopped by so I had to answer the door. So I had to put clothes on to do that."

He looked at me with wild eyes that were filled with passion. He pulled me close to his rock hard body and eagerly kissed my lips. "Can you take them off again?" he smiled. Even though it was way out of character I loved this side of him. He was always so gentle and serious I was glad I could see his fun and scandalous side.

"As much as I would love to I need to take a shower." I got up to go to the bathroom only to be flung over Dimitri's shoulder.

Needless to say it was an amazing shower, so two whole hours later we walked out of my dorm room and headed to the cafeteria to eat breakfast with lissa, Christian, my mom, and Abe.

Christian and Lissa were already at the table eating. Dimitri whispered that he was going to get some doughnuts for me and headed off to the line.

"Love you!" I nearly shouted.

"Tozhe tebya lyublyu" he shouted back. **(Love you too)**

I sat at the table with a goofy smile on my face. Lissa and Chris just laughed at my expression.

"Chris why can't you speak another language, that was so hot?" Lissa looked at Christian questioningly.

_So does he say dirty things to you in Russian? i really wish Chris could speak Italian or something._

"Lissa you are so bad, and not yet…nothing to spicy yet. It's only happened three times—"

"What's only happened three times?" I turned around to see my mom and dad standing behind me.

"Oh nothing…just hot sex!" hey if I was going to answer then I would do it in true Rose fashion.

My parents visibly paled and Christian turned red with laughter.

"More like rape considering Belikov is a scary pedophile." Lissa smacked him in the back of the head.

Dimitri finally brought me my doughnuts and sat down beside me. My mom and dad also sat down across from me and Dimitri.

"Rose, I know I never gave you the talk. Should I give it now?" my mom looked like she really wanted to give this talk and Chris and Lissa looked like they were very entertained.

"Mom I think it's a little too late for that but thanks for the offer." I looked at Dimitri who looked like he wanted to kill himself because of the embarrassment, but hey you only live once so…

"Kizim I think Dimitri has something to tell you…" my father said.

I looked at Dimitri, "yeah umm Christian asked me to be his guardian so Abe told me to take the position, cause he thinks it will be good for us and for lissa and Christian as well."

"Yeah and I'm taking Dimitri's position to guard your father, we've decided to get back together." My mother threw in.

"Really? That's amazing…so you're coming back to court with me?" I asked Dimitri.

"Yeah I am. Are you happy?" he looked concerned.

"Are you kidding this is amazing we will all be together."

I was so excited…in just a few hours we will be living at court and exploring the world.

**I know that this is just a bunch of poorly written fluff but I hope you enjoyed this chapter…I personally love writing chapters like this! And just a little side note…last night I was looking up translations for the story while watching my brother play xbox…and if you type in penis and listen to the Russian translation it is so funny…the word is the same its just with an accent…that is not going in the story it was just funny to listen to…Born this way tomorrow…..! kay review…and leave me any ideas you have….kay thanks…**

**Til next time,**

**Tristan Nicole!**

**PS: nother' shout out to snowgoose!**


	7. Bird of the Summer

**Yay another chapter guys!**

**Richelle Mead owns all!**

"**You came with the season as the first swallow sang, **

**A brown headed stranger with a five letter (7) name,**

**We planted our kisses where the wild berries grow,**

**My feet sprouted wings and I flew all the way home."**

**Bird of the Summer**

Living at court was going great. Dimitri and I were living together much to my parents despair, though they were happy that we were happy. They have decided to get married, much to mine and Dimitri's dismay. Queen bitch decided to train Lissa to be her successor even though Liss wasn't blood related. That came as a surprise to all of us.

It was the weekend and Dimitri and I were laying in our giant California king size bed when I had the sudden urge to throw up. Oh shit!

I ran to the bathroom and unloaded the contents of last night's pizza. Dimitri ran in shortly after and pulled my hair back and rubbed circles on my back. "Roza are you okay?" Dimitri's Russian accent was soothing and made me feel better instantly. The nausea faded as quickly as it had begun…which only meant one thing. Morning sickness. I hadn't realized I had said this out loud until Dimitri spoke.

"What did you say?" he looked shocked.

"Morning sickness. Lissa is preggers. Or at least I think that she is."

I picked myself off the bathroom floor and grabbed some slippers and ran to the wing where Lissa and Christian lived.

I banged on the door , and finally Christian opened the door with just his boxers on his pale, skinny, and kind of hairy(no just kidding) body.

"Sparky where's Liss?" I asked him.

"She's in the bathroom."

I pushed past him and headed to the bathroom. Christian right behind me.

"Throwing up?" I asked, he nodded. "Yeah me too. I think its shadow-kissed affects."

"What do you mean?" he was clearly confused.

I opened the bathroom door to see Lissa brushing her teeth.

"Sparky can you give us a second?" he nodded and walked away towards the kitchen.

"Lissa are you okay?" I looked at her with concern.

"Yeah I think it's just a little stomach bug, I feel fine now."

I shook my head, "I don't think that it's just a stomach bug, Liss I think that you are pregnant. I could feel your pain too."

"Oh shit, I can't be pregnant, Christian will freak and Queen Tatiana will be furious." She whispered.

She kept on rambling until I pulled her into a hug. "shh its going to be okay. Christian will be thrilled and I'm sure that Bitch will come to accept it, she loves you."

"Thanks rose. But let's go get some pregnancy tests just to be sure. Get dressed I will meet you at the court grocery store in ten minutes."

I ran out of the room and back towards mine to grab some miss me jeans and a gap tee shirt…I threw them on and pulled my hair off my face with a black headband and slipped on my toms and grabbed my stake. All the while Dimitri watched me with a confused look on his face.

"I'm meeting Lissa to get some pregnancy tests in like five minutes. I have to hurry." I grabbed some mascara and put on a coat, and put some blush on my cheeks and ran to the door.

"Love you!" I yelled as I shut the door.

"Love you too!" Dimitri yelled back.

I walked down the busy sidewalks towards the mini grocery store we had at court. Lissa was standing outside waiting for me.

"You ready to do this?" I asked her. We walked in the store and headed to the health section. We grabbed two of the most expensive ones, hoping that they would work the best. We waited in line for what seemed like hours even though it was probably only like five minutes. We finally got close to the front of the line when some lady started arguing with the cashier about the price of something. Ugh, i guess matters were going to be put on my hands.

"Lady what is your issue? No don't answer that cause i really don't care, just get the fuck out of the line. This is an emergency!" i guessed she knew who i was, or i just looked like i wasn't going to take any shit from her, either way she mumbled sorry and paid for her item quickly. We finally paid for the tests and walked out of the busy store.

"Can we go back to your place because i really don't think i could do these while Christian is at home?" Liss asked me.

"Yeah of course," I put my arm around her and we walked back to the apartment. The door was unlocked so we walked right in. "Dimitri I'm home!"

We walked into the kitchen where Dimitri was drinking his morning coffee. Yuck. We walked pass Dimitri and towards the bathroom.

"Hi Lissa," he called, she waved behind her and i shot Dimitri a loving smile. I handed lissa the pregnancy tests and I waited outside the door of the bathroom. Dimitri wrapped his arms around me in a back hug and laid his head on my shoulder.

"Is she okay?" He asked. I just shrugged cause i wasn't sure. Eventually she would be fine but right this second i wasn't so sure.

"Liss! Make sure you pee on both sticks!" i heard laughter from the bathroom. "Well i guess the laughter is a good sign right?" Dimitri nodded.

"Yeah, she and Christian will be fine. Plus he or she will have a kick ass aunt and uncle. We should get a—"Dimitri was cut off by a loud squeal obviously coming from Lissa.

I looked towards the bathroom door and smiled at Dimitri, "i guess that's my cue."

I opened the door to the bathroom to see lissa standing with the sticks in her hand and tears streaming down her cheeks. I shut the door behind me and pulled her into a hug. "Shh its okay, its okay."

"No I'm not upset." She actually smiled. Son of a bitch.

"Wait you're okay! You're okay!" i tried my best not to look confused.

"Yeah because even though this is an inconvenient time…babies bring so much joy and im really excited to be a mommy even though I'm only eighteen. So yeah its perfectly okay." I could tell she wasn't just saying it, she really meant it.

"We should go tell Christian." I suggested.

And just like that we were off to the Christian the giant news. He was waiting in the exact spot we left him. Lissa was the first to speak up.

"Ummm Christian i have something to show you." She handed him the pregnancy tests, and his jaw dropped to the ground.

"What?"

**Yeah so there you go! Im sorry its so short! But i was a camp councelor the past two weeks for drama camp and the 20 ten year olds i was in charge of were exhausting! Ive had ton of doctors and dentist and orthodontist opp. Hopefully ill have my braces off in a few days but i have this small cist thing under my arm which it makes it difficult to write. It hurt so bad i had to get my mom take my shirt off cause i couldnt lift my arm but anyywho that's just the latest and greatest! I hope all of you are having a fabulous summer Review any ideas are welcome!**

Til next time

Tristan Nicole


	8. New Heights

Chapter 7

"Height and seeking

Oh we are reaching

New heights and seeking

How to keep them high"

A fine frenzy

Richelle mead owns all!

RPOV

Christian's eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell to the floor. Lissa rushed to his side and healed him immediately.

"Lissa," i scolded, "You need to stop using spirit so much we don't know how it will affect the baby."

"Yeah you are right I better not do that." Christian's eyes opened up and he started to sit when Lissa pushed him back down. "Hey stay right there. You just passed out, i don't want you to move and hurt yourself."

"I'm gonna be a daddy?" Christian asked Lissa.

"Yeah, you are going to be a daddy." She pressed her lips to his and i took that as my cue to leave and give them some alone time.

I walked back to the apartment a little sad that i couldn't give dimitri that kind of happiness, I mean I never really wanted kids, especially at my age, but maybe way in the future we could adopt.

"Roza, are you okay?" Dimitri pulled me out of my thoughts. "Are you going to come in, you've been standing out there for a while?"

I smiled," Yeah I'm fine, you want to take a walk with me?"

He smiled back," yeah of course I will, let me just put some clothes on." He was still in his boxers from the night before. I laughed, all of the female population would stare if he went out like this.

"Yeah you go do that." He gave me a quick kiss before going into the bedroom to change; I stared at his perfectly sculpted ass the whole way. Hey I'm a girl, sue me…

Dimitri came back out a few minutes later looking like he stepped straight out of a Ralph Lauren ad. He looked gorgeous. He caught me staring.

"What?" he looked down at himself, as if something was wrong.

"What are you wearing?" he looked so yummy.

"What do you mean? I'm wearing the stuff Lissa bought me."

"Oh nothing, you look so hot." I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. "And you smell really good."

"Thank you Roza" I kissed him quickly before grabbing his hand and pulling him out the door.

We walked to the Courts gardens hand in hand. We strolled in comfortable silence, not needing to say anything, but the silence made me think. What if Dimitri wanted kids? What if Dimitri wanted kids badly enough that he would leave me when he got bored? We were fine now but what about in a year, or five? Dimitri must have noticed something was wrong. Well of course he did he read me like an open book.

"Roza?" We had stopped walking and Dimitri pulled me to a bench.

"Huh?" I responded. He put his thumb to my forehead and smoothed the lines that had formed there when I was contemplating my thoughts.

"Are you okay? You look sad." His beautiful face filled with worry.

"I'd say i was okay, but you wouldn't believe me. If I ask you a question will you promise not to laugh at me or say my question is totally senseless because I really need to hear the truth, not what i want to hear." I could feel the tears threaten to spill over, I didn't know why, I never cried. Maybe it was Lissa's emotions.

"Yeah Roza you can ask me anything you know that," He pulled me into his arms and I buried my face in the crook of his neck. The tears I wanted to hold in so badly slipped over the edge and down my face.

"I'm sorry." I said wiping the tears away with the back of my hand.

"Why are you sorry? Cause your crying? Its fine let it all out." I could feel his hands along my back, soothing me while I cried into his shoulder.

"It's these fucking hormones, they are just draining me." He didn't say anything about me dropping the f bomb like he normally would just sat there and held me. I wiped my face and sat up. "Umm…do you want kids?"

He looked at me with confusion in his eyes, "Kids? I mean I've thought about it but not now, I mean, what brought this on?"

I looked at him through my eyelashes. "Lissa. The baby. What I'll never give you. It makes me so upset."

"Oh Roza, I don't need that , I have you. I love you, never doubt that."

He picked me up from the bench and carried me bridal style towards our apartment.

"what are we doing?"

"we are going back to our apartment so I can show you how much I love you," he whispered in my ear huskily. "Im going to make love to you til you realize that im not going anywhere, ever."

He opened the door to our apartment, and set me back on the ground. He shut the door behind him, and turned so he could kiss me long and hard. He pulled back to trail kisses down my neck. "I love you so much, never doubt that." He whispered as he pulled my t- shirt off and kissed down my chest while I lost my Toms.

He slipped his shoes off and his socks and worked on the buttons of my jeans. "You are so beautiful, you know that? You make me crazy." His Russian accented words made me lose my train of thought and all that was in my mind was him.

I pulled his shorts and shirt off, and then slipped out of my jeans; I wrapped my legs around his waist and kissed him like I never kissed him before. With everything I had. I pulled the leather tie that was holding his gorgeous locks up, out of his hair and ran my fingers through it. It was like silk perfection. He walked towards the far side of the apartment, to the bedroom. When we finally made it to the bedroom he laid me down and crawled in with me. We shed the rest of our clothes and we made love all day until i couldn't even remember my own name.

The next morning I woke up in only a soft cotton shirt that Russian writing on it and underwear, cradled in Dimitri's giant strong arms when the nausea hit me just like the morning before. I mean I loved lissa, but we'd have to figure out a way to stop the pain from coming through the bond. Dimitri must have woken up to the sound of my barfing because i could feel his hands against my back and holding my hair. "Shh… ty v poryadke krasivaya devushka, ty v poryadke" I didn't know what he was saying, but it was soothing none the less. When the nausea finally went away I flushed the toilet and brushed my teeth.

I wrapped my arms around Dimitri and buried my face in the crook of his arm. "This fucking sucks Comrade." I mumbled into his chest. He kissed the top of my head.

"Yeah i know it does baby." He picked me up from the floor and wrapped my legs around his waist; I wrapped my warms around his neck and hugged him hard.

"i love you, you know that?" I whispered. He just chuckled and carried us to the kitchen.

"Yeah i know that, i love you my roza." He set me on the marble kitchen countertop and kissed my lips. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"Food." I responded. "Anything."

"How about i make you something my mom used to make me for breakfast?"

"Something Russian? " i asked. "That sounds good."

"Yeah. It is." He got to making the Russian breakfast while I sat on the counter, watching him. He looked so sexy, in only his boxers, muscles rippling when he moved. Yum.

"Rose, here drink this." Dimitri handed me a glass of water. "Maybe it will help your stomach."

"Thank you." I drank the water and continued to watch him cook. He sat a plate in front of me piled high with what he had just cooked.

"Here, eat." He pulled me off of the counter and onto his lap at a table in our little breakfast nook. I ate my breakfast in silence just leaning into Dimitri's warmth.

"Uh…i should stop…i'm eating like a cow…i think lissa's cravings are coming hrough the bond too…"

Dimitri's arms went around my waist and pulled me close," Don't worry so much. Eat, its fine"

I hopped out of his lap. I thought I give him his birthday surprise now since I couldn't keep the secret any longer. "I have something for you but you have to close your eyes."

"What is it Roza?" Dimitri asked with his eyes closed.

"Well since your birthday is in two weeks i thought I'd give you your present early." I went to the drawer that I hid his gift in and pulled it out. As soon as dimitri and I got back together lissa and I decided that for his birthday that i would get him tickets to go home to Baia for his birthday(ps dimitris bday is unknown so its going to be now)

"Are you going to dress up like a cowgirl for me?" he asked, his humor surprising me.

I laughed, "No that's not the surprise, but I can do that too. Okay hold out your hands but don't open your eyes."

He held out his strong rough hands and I placed the envelope in them. "Okay open."

He pulled the tickets out of the envelope and a beautiful white smile broke out across his face. "We are going to Russia?"

"Yeah next week, for your 25th birthday. Are you excited?"

He laughed one gorgeous chuckle and wrapped me in his big, strong arms. "I'm so excited, you just don't even know."

"We are going to Russia."

He nodded, "Yeah i guess we are. Thank you Roza."

"Its my pleasure."

**Russian translation: youre okay beautiful girl, youre okay**

**So hi guys..please don't shoot me…i do have an explaination…ive been terribly busy and very not-inspired! I only got three reviews for the chapter….so thanks for those…im not complaining…i just didn't even feel like writing..so i hope you liked this chapter…the nnext one should be up within the next few weeks…please give me some sugeestions ! and review…cause then i will actually write some more!**

**Til next time **

**Tristan Nicole**

**Ps: i hope that ((sort of)) lemon wasn't the worst thing ever…it was choppy and awful so just pretend it was good **


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